One of the worst-kept secrets is the subject of fertility. Whether it be primary or secondary infertility, it is often a subject that is never discussed. Most infertile women are afraid to discuss their problem fearing no one will understand and it is hard for those to understand when all their significant other has to do is look at them and, BING, they're pregnant. It is very painful for those who are experiencing infertility problems to see a mother holding a baby or attend a baby shower. They may feel that it is unfair that an unwed mother can conceive sometimes several times over, but the infertile woman struggles to conceive one.
While my husband and I were able to conceive four children (one of whom was miscarried), it was after years of tears and trying. I had read all of the books and magazine articles I could find on causes and ways to overcome infertility. It was during the birth of my second child via c-section, that we discovered the reason for the problem, but many women don't know and won't ever know. Throughout my research and, even after discovering the cause, I, also, made another discovery. I was not alone. There were others with the same problem. Others who had not even conceived a first child. There are also miracle babies out there. We knew of a man who had an accident as a child and was told he'd never be a father and, yet, somehow he and his wife were blessed with a son. I know several women who also overcame the odds and were also blessed with miracle children.
An infertile woman does not want to hear, "Well, it will happen sooner or later." - especially if she has been trying for a lengthly amount of time. Other phrases of frustration is, "Well, when are you going to have a baby?" or "Little Amy needs a brother/sister." I heard these phrases quite often and they only cause deep pain and anguish. Often an infertile woman will tell you she doesn't want children just so she doesn't have to endure those hurtful remarks.
A friend of mine was lamenting the fact that someone she knew did not want children. After listening to her for awhile I finally asked, "Are you sure she isn't having an infertility problem?" That is a question we should all be asking ourselves before asking hurtful questions such as, "Well, isn't it about time you and George have one of your own?"