20 Ways to Know Youre Pregnant

A humorous look at pregnancy.

20 Ways to Know Youre Pregnant

Okay, so to really know you're pregnant, it's a good idea to see the doctor or buy a test. However, there are some indicators that may pop up along the way to prove to you and the world that you are, in fact, carrying a child.

You know you're pregnant when...

1. You not only actually consider stopping at the rest area on the way to and from work, but you actually occasionally are forced to simply to avoid wetting the seat.

2. You go from loving your husband dearly for wanting to chop his head off with a butter knife for eating the last ice cream sandwich.

3. You are hungry approximately thirty seconds after finishing a meal, yet want to throw it up at the same time.

4. You find yourself switching from gleefully happy to unbearable sadness to exploding anger within seconds.

5. You forget those minor little details like meetings, schedules, shopping lists, where you put your keys, and occasionally your own name.

6. You can't get enough of strange food you never have been tempted to try in the past.

7. You discover you will do just about anything for food, not limited to bribery, hunting and gathering and possibly cannibalism (especially for that ice cream sandwich eating husband)

8. You suddenly find yourself tearing up at the mere sight or sound of an infant.

9. You know the meaning of fun new words like fundus.

10. You are actually happy to put on weight for the first time in your life.

11. People you didn't even know knew your name are suddenly walking up to you and putting their hand on your stomach.

12. Ever time you meet a new person you begin to ponder the potential of their name for your future offspring.

13. You feel the urge to go to bed at seven o'clock every night.

14. You find yourself snapping at people for innocuous little comments like, "Hello."

15. The only books you have a desire to read have pictures of babies and pregnant women all over them

16. The important people in your life now constantly look at you as if you were a volcano about to burst or possibly a hungry tiger about to try to eat their arm.

17. All you can talk about is the size of your fetus, the crib you looked at yesterday and your dread of labor.

18. You suddenly crave alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, and heroin, even if you never used any of them in the past.

19. A blurry black and white ultrasound replaces the picture of you and your girls out at the bar.

And last but not least:

20. If one more person asks if you're having twins or if that baby's ever going to come out, you're going to buy a revolver!

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